All you need is love… Your LOVE! Who is there when you are born into this world? Who is there when you leave this world? Who is there in the good times of your life? And who is there in the bad times in your life? You.
You are the one and only consistent factor the entire way through your life. So why is it that when we are always there for ourselves, that we look to fulfil our lives through other people and things? And why is it that although we are the one and only in our life we can treat ourselves the absolute worst?
“I didn’t get the degree or job I thought I would”, “I’m not married”, “I need to lose 10 kilos”, “I don’t speak up for myself”, “I can’t run fast enough”,” I haven’t bought a house”, “I stuffed up that business proposal” and so the list goes on.
We are so hell bent on crucifying ourselves for all the things we don’t have and don’t do. And we say to ourselves that when we get those things that we will be happy and we will deserve love and kindness towards ourselves.
Well pardon my french, but that is BULLSH*T!
Contrary to popular belief we don’t come inbuilt with an instruction manual on life with all the decisions to make our lives seemingly “perfect”. We all make mistakes and a mistake doesn’t mean you’re a failure. I can honestly say it took me a long time to realise this, but when I did and I became kinder to myself and began loving the real me warts and all, it was amazing just how much more calm this made my life.
When I started my business last year a few months in I sent an email out to my subscribers, using a new software program. It was a complete stuff up! The email I had put together completely reverted to a template version and half of my content wasn’t even in the email. At first, I was mortified, my little inner bitch (let’s call her Regina from Mean Girls) said things like “you idiot, how did you let that happen, how unprofessional does that look?” However, I quickly caught myself and booted Regina out of my head saying to myself “hang on there, you are only human, it was a mistake and it could happen to anyone.” And in reality, there was absolutely nothing I could do to change it, the email was gone and many people had opened it, so what good did beating myself up really do? Nothing! But I did do something, I decided not to use that software again and to stick with the program I had been using to date.
Now I know it sounds wanky, but honestly mistakes are the most awesome opportunity to learn. If we didn’t have the bad or uncomfortable things in our life how would we really know what are the good times, what we really want and what is right for us?
Most people think that in my role as a Career Coach I am working with clients on their resumes, finding the right career pathway and ultimately finding them the right job. And yes, this is definitely a part of it, but let me tell you, this is only the tip of the iceberg. Every single person I work with has inner work to do in one way, shape or another. And the most common inner work that is needed is people committing to themselves, loving themselves and realising that they are important.
My advice on Valentine’s Day, don’t look for someone to make you whole or right. You need you to make yourself whole. Be kind and loving to yourself. This will not only change how you treat yourself, but it will change how you see others around you and opportunities in life. You too can be calmer, more emotionally intelligent and understanding of yours and other peoples struggles and challenges to love themselves too.
So this Valentine’s day commit to the one true real love in your life… you!