We all know the importance of the three key factors to a healthier you. Eating well, getting plenty of sleep and exercising regularly.
There is however a fourth piece of the puzzle that needs to be embarked upon first before any lasting change can be effective: detoxing the mind.
As children we’ve all had what I call DOS programming (rules and regulations on how we govern our lives) installed. Some of this programming still serves us today; however a vast majority of it is old and outdated and does not serve the adult YOU.
When things go wrong in our lives it’s this programming that rises up and causes the havoc, anger or frustrations we experience.
So how does this programming work?
Everything we see and do is recorded and stored as a memory for later use. When a memory is created how we are feeling at that exact moment is also captured.
When the memory is recalled (usually via a question or a response needed) the attached emotion provides our response.
Without a use by date or good for one use only its possible for memories created in our childhood to show up time and time again often unleashing the original pain and suffering experienced all those years ago.
Most people get angry because of all the things they did not get to say or do at the time the memory was created.
As children, with our simple vocabulary we could easily interrupt any situation with a label such as “I am not good enough” “ I’m stupid” “or “I can’t do this.” Labels we carry around our whole lives and often create events to validate them.
Depending on the degree of hurt and pain associated with the memory they can become what I call ‘red flag’ emotions. It’s these emotions that stand a greater chance of being selected over and over again. Hence why it’s so important to detox them so that you no longer have to relive your anguish over and over again.
Whenever I’ve felt overwhelmed or angry at what someone has said or done, I’d acknowledge that their words or actions have simply unlocked one of my red flagged memories and this is why I’m feeling this way.
You see no one has the power to make you happy or sad (no matter how much you would like to blame someone else for your behaviour) for your emotions determine your responses.
As for me I’ve found one way to unlock the culprit that was causing my pain was to do what is called the ‘fast writing’ process.
This is where you write as fast as you can, about who or what, is making you angry. By doing so you hope to skip over the conscious (this is stupid) to the subconscious where your pain lays in waits.
For me it was possible to revisit past memories and alter how I remembered what happened thus replacing the pain and sorrow with more uplifting emotions.
In my childhood I experienced mother daughter domestic violence some of which was gut wrenching. Each time I uncovered a particularly bad memory I’d simply replaced some of the story, which in turn altered how I felt about what happened.
The beauty is that the subconscious cannot distinguish between what is real and what is imagined.
So I could just make stuff up and it would then become the new norm for me. One time I had Wonder Woman rescue me. Another time a prince came and hugged me and told me how much I was loved.
It took 2 years and over 50 exercise books to feel the weight of despair lift from my shoulders. I even wrote letters to people (some now deceased) about how they should have helped me or could have done more to stop the abuse.
Remember you are dealing with your feelings and how you felt about what happened all those years ago. In this process there is no right and wrong, but at the end of the day the choice is yours as to what programming stays and what gets altered.
The letters I wrote did not need to be sent for the simple act of writing allowed the negative energy from within to be transferred to the paper. At the end of the day I burnt some and others I just threw in the bin. The more I did this the lighter I became.
Eventually you’ll learn to live in the now rather than having the past dictate how you live your life. That’s how life is for me.
By detoxing my mind I found what most people look for but seldom find – inner happiness.