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Breaking Patterns, Being Responsible for your Feelings

BY LOUISE PLANT

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So how do we break our life patterns and cycles?

Are we able to do it?

Of course we are. We have the power to create anything and change everything.

For us to change any pattern in our lives we must first see it.

How can we change something we are not aware of?

So we first must see it and know that this is what we do or what we are doing. Then to change something we must own it. This means taking responsibility for what it is that we are doing, being or saying. Only then will things start to change.

If we are talking about stress, a good way to start changing the stress patterns in our lives is firstly to become aware of what your stressors are. If you are able to recognise the problems and focus upon them, then a solution is not that far around the corner.

Remember not to spend a lot of time focusing on what your problems are though, because the very thoughts you are thinking are putting energy out to create them. If we are spending a lot of time focusing on what we do not have, the negative things that people do, the bad luck we always have or the horrible things in our lives, we are then helping to create these things and bring them into our lives by giving them the power of our thoughts and giving them our energy.

Once we can see what our problem is then we need to see what part of the problem we are responsible for. What are we doing to keep perpetuating this stress?

Own it and take responsibility for it.

For you to be able to change something in your life that is not desirable, you must see it for what it is, be aware of the issue and accept that this aspect is present and is part of your life. Once you accept the issue for what it is, then you will be able to see ways and means of adapting, ways of being able to change that which is undesirable to more pleasant patterns and behaviours.

We have already discussed some strategies to think about when it comes to family issues, so remember there are always solutions to any problem. Knowing that there are always solutions will help guide you to them.

Be aware that there may be times in our lives when we feel sad and depressed for no reason and this is fine.

Be aware of the feeling, aim not to push it away. Feel the feeling and then let them go. Feelings will only stay with us for 20 minutes, if we allow ourselves to sit with them and feel them. If we push them away or suppress them with drugs and or alcohol, then they will just wait to re-emerge again at another time. We have not owned them or taken responsibility for them when we push them away.

Remember that life is full of cycles and rhythms, waves that ebb and flow. There can be times when you cannot find a reason for why you might be feeling low and the more you search for this reason, the harder it may be to find.

Just simply learn to accept the feeling that you are experiencing and know that it is OK to be feeling this way and allow yourself to feel the feeling.

Often you will find that once you accept things being the way they are, the answers you have been seeking will come to you. Our feelings cannot hurt us. It is the suppression of these feelings, or the destructive expression of these feelings that can hurt us.