Relationship lost its spark and wondering how to reignite the sex and intimacy in your relationship? In this episode of The Love Destination Expert Series, The Friendly Psychologist Jacqui Manning reveals how to get the spark back and deepen the connection with your partner.
“Sex and intimacy are two really important things in your primary relationship, but they are quite different.” Psychologist Jacqui Manning told thelovedestination.com. “We often confuse the two and think that sex equals intimacy and intimacy equals sex. Something that trips couples up is that often women need the intimate moments. That intimate connection where you feel like you’re important to someone, where you know someone intimately – to have sex. And men need sex to feel intimate with their partner. That’s a generalization, but it can be fairly true.”
It’s Not Just About Sex
It’s not just about sex, Psychologist Jacqui Manning explains “You have to give each other time and attention in both areas and not expect to fall into bed with each other, perhaps if you’ve been arguing all day. Because while one of you might feel like the two aren’t related, the other person will still be feeling resentful that you’ve had a critical kind of day; a day that hasn’t gone so well.”
Fuel Your Connection Outside The Bedroom As Well As Inside The Bedroom
“Try and fuel your connection outside of the bedroom as well as inside of the bedroom, and talk about it. So don’t just ignore the problem, because it won’t go away if you’re feeling unconnected with each other.”
Friendship Is Key
“Think about each other as being a devoted friendship, so that friendship is key and base; however, you have the “sparkle” on top, which is the devotion; the sex; the intimate moments that you have with no one else in the world.” Jacqui Manning said.
Focus On What You Have And What You Love About Your Partner
Focussing on what you love about your partner can help to rekindle the spark as Jacqui Manning reveals. “By keeping mindful of that and what you do have rather than what you don’t have – what attracted you to each other in the beginning? What things do you like about your partner physically or emotionally? What makes you tick together? Sometimes it’s hard to remember that, but if you think back to when you first met and really focus on that for a little while – meditate on it, even – together, by thinking about it, it can really bring those sparkly joyful feelings back and you can feel more like a teen again.”