We often put so much pressure on ourselves before a date, particularly if it’s with someone we really like. But dating doesn’t have to be nerve wracking. Here are my 5 tips to help you mentally prepare for a date. Have fun! Love Katia
Visualisation and rehearsal techniques are particularly effective when it comes to improving communication skills and body language, by creating an emotional and muscular memory or blueprint for success.
First, bring your focus to your body and breath before adopting high power and low status posture so that you get a muscular memory of what each position feels like and the effect it has on how you feel. Remember a time when you felt confident interacting with new people. Remember how you held yourself, how it felt and how people reacted to you. Focussing on the high power posture visualise yourself on the date, successfully flirting with confidence.
For an instant confidence and feel good boost change your body language. Your posture can have a dramatic positive or negative effect on the way you feel, look and act. Research from Columbia and Harvard Universities (published in Psychological Science) found that adopting a high power position (open upright posture, wide stance, chin held up and arms and legs uncrossed) for a period of just one-minute decreases levels of the stress hormone cortisol, whilst increasing levels of testosterone, feelings of confidence and power. In contrast, adopting a low status position can make you feel more anxious and less confident.
If you’re so nervous you can barely remember your own name, relax and breathe. Slow, rhythmic breathing stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system reducing our heart rate, and our nerves, making us feel, look and sound more confident.
Our thoughts, emotions and physiology are linked. Change what you’re thinking and / or feeling and you’ll change your body language, change your body language and you’ll change how you feel. So, if stress gets the better of you before your date or if you’re feeling completely out of your depth and overwhelmed with anxiety, simply thinking the words ‘We’re going to have fun, I’ve got this’ will dramatically change your non-verbal communication and how you feel.
Last but not least, to make an unforgettable first impression, prepare for your date by finding some common ground and shared interests. You’ll shine the spotlight on them and help you both to feel more comfortable and relaxed.